Four months ago I applied for a job. It was a stretch for me, but I thought I could grow to fulfill it. It was one of those long shots that I thought I could attain with hard work. It wasn't to be. Today, I found out that I was not chosen. I trust that the employer worked through all the details to select someone that would be best for the job. Still, it's disappointing to me . . . but that's ok.
Disappointment can either push you away or toward something. It's pushing me toward God. I feel like I'm on the road in this picture. I took the picture. I know the road. I even know what's at the crest of the hill. I don't know what's at the crest of the "hill of my future" though. This was one of those situations that I really thought I could work into. Sometimes, when people don't know you, or want to risk what you may or may not be able to do, the chance to work into something just doesn't happen. Many of my friends were trying to ease me into the fact that I wouldn't be chosen. They are good friends to care for me so much.
I guess enough time has passed that I already have my sights set on other things. Thankfully this job wasn't the only thing my mind has been set on all this time. I do have other dreams. Someone actually pushed me to voice one of those dreams yesterday . . . that will be for another post someday.
Today, though, I look back on a closed door with sadness, but clearly understanding that my whole person was not resting on that one decision. My life and purpose can't be wrapped up in one person making a decision. I think I'm fairly healthy with that perspective. Today, I'm a bit teary, but I know that tomorrow I'll look again at the days ahead with anticipation. There are good things happening in my life. I'm thankful to my Father God for His watchful eye and leading hand on my behalf.
It is God who works in me both to will and to do of His good pleasure!
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