Contemplative Days

Thanks to those who have nudged me about becoming slack in my blogging ventures. Makes me feel good that someone is reading them!

I have been doing my reading that I promised a couple of weeks ago. Again, there is just so much in those readings that I don't have the time (nor you the probable reading interest) to blog on them. I'll try to get highlights soon.

It feels like a tsunami has hit my life. It's hard to really get too descriptive because too many people read this who wouldn't understand my consternation in these days. I think I am coming to understand more clearly the physics principle of inertia. Change is hard. Whether I have to begin something I've not done before or whether I need to change directions from my current path, there has to be an external force to initiate the change. How do I do that? Who or what do I allow to be that "force"? What is the final pressure that will create the change so badly needed? Would it be finances . . . fear . . . frustration . . . hopelessness? Could it be anticipation . . . new vision . . . Holy Spirit nudge? There are probably other forces I've not considered. Likewise any of the above mentioned could be used for good to get me in the new place.

I know that my reading has been around the changes that God wants to do in my life. I guess I don't want to feel like I'm doing these changes all by myself. It'd be nice to do them in "community". I know that I need relationships that will love me, yet be willing to relate with me regularly to help keep me moving toward a more holy life. Sometimes, in my desire to go there, I understand there will be disagreements. I'd like to have dialogue, yet safety in these changing times.

It would seem to me that a shared vision emblazened with the passion of God would be the glue that would help hold things together through the changing times. Maybe that's what I'm looking for . . . Surely God would like to see that too?

Digging for Oil

It's been awhile since I posted. My life seems to be in an interesting transition at the moment. I'm not sure what the days ahead will have for me, but I do know that I am leaning hard on Jesus during these times.

I'm not behind in my reading. I'm behind in the writing. Sometimes my mind thinks of so many things around what I'm reading that I can't figure out how to get it out my fingers! I've been reading and praying through "52 Days of Rebuilding Your Spirit, Receiving a New Anointing, and Unlocking Your Future" . There are just so many things to pray about and ponder that I just don't have the time on a daily basis to write what I am thinking. (whew!)

Here are the salient points of what I've been reading. These are the bold print of the document linked above.

• My people are resisting the drill of discipline. My people are resisting My attempt to go deeper.
• Do not agree with and settle on the wrong side of the river.
• The River Jordan is rising! Do not fear the rising waters around you.
• Purpose in your heart to be the first to step forward. I will surround your desert places with a redemptive thread.
• If you will surround every desert that I give you, your inheritance will be secured and what seems dry will blossom.
• This is a time when that which has been gray will become clear in your life.
• This is a time to walk in My anointing and glory—not just look for it.
• You are not aware that you are a glory carrier for this season.

The scriptures around these statements are so deep. I'm not sure how I can absorb this stuff on a daily basis. There's just a lot there. I think of all the things I am reading it is reassuring to know that the Father is giving me a choice to remain in my same circumstances or to move "across the Jordan" to the new place. He even said that there would be no condemnation - "but your expectation of Me will be lessened". That caused my heart to jump into my throat. It sounded like I would just "settle". My holy discontent just won't let me do that! (See Thurs, Aug 11, 2005 blog entry.)

These are days for the oil search of the Lord in my heart. I am encouraged to know that He feels there IS oil in there. It feels like months that I've cried out to God for the deeper things He has. I know that not everyone is interested in going there. I also know that probably more people than I realize DO want to search out His glorious riches. If God be for us, who can be against us?!!

Holy Discontent

I am attending the Leadership Summit 2005. I was able to go because someone else had to back out at the last minute. I was almost in tears on Wednesday night as I watched the simulcast and realized that I was not able to go. A long time friend helped open a door and I found myself sitting in the Bill Hybels and Rick Warren sessions. It was so encouraging to me.

I have for quite awhile found myself with this inside passion thing for which I didn't have a label. I have wrestled between a couple of long time held thought processes. Questioning is not ok. Asking the "why" or asking "how" has seemed to be an unholy thing. It came down to the idea of "not touching the Lord's anointed". Honestly, I've always been pretty fearful of doing that and losing any sense of ministry the Lord might have through me. Everything I heard today, though, wasn't about wrestling with people. It was about a need not being met.

So, when I heard today about this thing called "holy discontentment", I realized that I really might have been feeling that for some time. This capacity for activism Hybels talked about is something I've felt. There's that extra shot of energy amidst a furnace of frustration. I was encouraged to hear him say that what brings me holy discontent very likely brings God holy discontent. I don't take that lightly. It's a huge risk, but something that becomes worth it in the light of staying the same. This holy discontent is about feeling wrecked about something. What is one thing that affects me? Comparing it to Popeye the Sailorman . . . "That's all I can stands. I can't stands no more!"

The Slow Stretch

I confess I'm in a time where I feel tempted. I'm not sure with what exactly. I just know I feel restless.

The waiting is hard for me. I'm trying to pray for the new thing that was prophecied. I'm trying to listen for a new strategy of multiplication. I have been in pain physically more these past few days than I have for awhile. I don't know if it's stress or just tiredness. I do find myself reading stuff that puts ideas in my head. I just don't know if I have the faith to pursue those things. I know it's a stretching time. It feels like the shift is in progress, but it seems to be happening so very slowly. I need Holy Spirit's eyes to help me see the old paths that I just keep circling and then, how to step off the circle and onto a different path. I just keep thinking that I don't want to be the same in five years as I am today. Whether I have to go over rocks, through the forest or simply over some dirt, I just don't want to be the same.

Maybe I'm too worried about staying the same that I miss the opportunities to shift into the new place? I wonder how scary the new place is? Hmmmm . . .

Faith Is A Journey

I am reading Out of the Question . . . into the Mystery by Leonard Sweet. The subtitle is Getting Lost in the Godlife Relationship.

I'm finding that my training has led me into a lifestyle that hasn't made much room for the mystery of Christ. I was taught that there is an answer for everything - I just have to find it. Of course the Bible was the place I was taught to always look.

While I do believe the Bible is God's handbook for living, it is not God Himself. Does that sound like an odd statement? I am finding that I actually have a better relationship with my Bible than I do God. It seems like the Holy Spirit has been prompting me for years to get to know God in a more personal way.

I have a friendship that has taught me much about relationship. My friend was the first person I called when I was in a crisis situation. The friend isn't even in this country, but my crisis was huge. My friend was comforting, yet helpful in direction. Our relationship has blazed a trail of commitment.

Sweet says "The true test of faith is not knowledge based. The true test of faith is a revelational, and relationship, test. Is Christ dead or alive in my life? Has the Jesus virus infected my life until my spirit is becoming His spirit? A relationship with God-loving God-is the fulfilling of the Law, according to Jesus. The moral law was written on tablets of stone. But Jesus rolled away the stone. The Jesus trimtab is now grafted into the human heart until 'as He is, so are we in this world," until 'Christ is formed in you.' " Out of the Question . . .Into the Mystery - page 30

Sweet goes on to describe churches that are lifeless. They are the ones with the form but no substance. They are fruitless. There is very little relational happenings, vertically or horizontally. Christ is a principle that says "Christ is the answer!" That statement almost seems blasphemous! Of course He is, I'm thinking. As I am thinking, reading and remembering I find I am most drawn to relationship. Looking at my friend, I see that I have a deep commitment. We surely do not always agree, but we ask questions of each other and spur one another to more than mere rote answers.

The journey . . .the journey . . . the journey . . . it's about the journey. Faith is a living ongoing thing. It's dynamic and living. Belief, on the other hand, is something that I look back upon. It doesn't mean that belief is bad, it just means that it isn't dynamic for the days ahead. It's more like a stone, something you build upon. My challenge has always been that I don't really revisit those beliefs all that much. I just camp on them, not questioning as I move on in the dynamics of my faith journey. (Insert heresy hunters and lightning bolts) Sweet is confronting me. To which do I cling - my stony beliefs or the relationship with God that might be moving my journey from faith to faith and possibly changing (reshaping) some of my beliefs?

What do I do when my belief stones aren't willing to move as my faith grows along the journey?

All Day Praise

It's an all day opportunity. Working will give me plenty of openings to choose to praise the Lord. (insert smiley face here)

Even God's wonderful creation sometimes looks like it's not all that excited about what's happening too.

Why so downcast, oh my soul? Put your trust in God!

Even in a dry and barren land, the shadow I cast could mean hope for another. I pray that even my shadow will praise You, Father!

Clear Choices

I've found myself striving so hard to make the "right" choices. There is so much to consider sometimes. How will this affect my family? How will this affect my friendships? What about the future? What about all the relationship investments of many years?

The pull seems to be between the pain of staying the same with it's promise of stale standardization or the pain of change and it's uncharted challenges. When standing at the crossroad of choice, neither looks all that inviting. I shudder at the old adage "you will not change until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change".

James 1:8 that says "a double minded man is unstable in all his ways".

That's a picture of a person whose head is swinging back and forth looking and looking at the options trying to figure out the pros and cons. The person is frozen in time until he can get that choice made and set off on the corresponding journey.

Here are some select verses from Deuteronomy 30:

"11 This command I am giving you today is not too difficult for you to understand or perform.

14 The message is very close at hand; it is on your lips and in your heart so that you can obey it.

19 Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, that you and your descendants might live!

20 Choose to love the LORD your God and to obey him and commit yourself to Him, for He is your life."

I hear God saying that the choice isn't as hard as I am making it. The message is really in my heart. God is drawing a line in the sand and saying "choose". He's even telling me what choice to make. It's interesting, why do I struggle with the choice? Life and blessing surely is more inviting than death and curses!

So now . . . life and blessing is my choice.

The Window of My Future

"This is the time to open up the window of your future. Do not go backward. Set aside 10 days to advance. Praise daily. Do not retreat. Do not allow the window of your future to close. Do not find yourself on the wrong side of Jordan where your promises cannot be completed and fulfilled."

I am challenged these days to praise, but I remember that God is always worthy of praise. It really isn't about how I feel, it's about who HE IS!

Ps. 34:11-14
" Come, my children, and listen to me, and I will teach you to fear the LORD. Do any of you want to live a life that is long and good? Then watch your tongue! Keep your lips from telling lies! Turn away from evil and do good. Work hard at living in peace with others."

Those words are very much important to me. I want to be a person who lives in the truth. Sometimes the circumstances that surround me are telling me things that are not true. I have always been taught to "believe the best first". I am working hard to do that today. Sometimes the evidences that show themselves over time do not bear out truth. Sometimes they bear out more truth than I ever knew. That does something to a person's head - their belief system.

It's been several days since I've had time to think and write. I've missed writing my thoughts. This "stretching" is not always so fun. The past is very comfortable and cozy. The problem is when the "window of my future" opened, I can't even look back at what I was with any joy of going back there. The past was great. It's just not something I want to live in now.

It seems that the scripture reading I'm doing these days is a reminder that my lips need to have the praise of God on them. While I know that's important for all of the time, it is very important for now. I want the latter years of my life to be fruitful and rich. I want what I do to be meaningful for the Kingdom of God. The "window of my future" is not only seen with me in mind. It includes all who God brings into my life. It seems that the choices I make now will influence those people and opportunities. (I know it's not hugely complicated to understand - it's just very weighty on me at the moment.)

Help me, Father to remember that You have a better view than I do of the future. Lead me so I can hear You. I will try so hard to listen. I will lift up my voice to praise You with all that I have. I will do my part and trust that You are opening my eyes to see and believe. Thank You for Your revelation . . .

A Holy Spirit Visitation

My reading today was Acts 16-19. What a picture over several years of Paul's travels!

I was struck by the fact that he went into a town and hunted for the "disciples". I guess he'd just ask around. He always headed for the nearest synagogue to find a place to reason with the Jews. Sometimes there would be trouble. The trouble might be from the religious leaders, but sometimes it also affected the economy of the city. The idol makers were threatened when Paul argued that those gods made with human hands had no power.

Paul became known for his ability to reason with the leaders about the truths of Jesus and His Resurrection. He helped teach those that were limited in their understanding about the work of Jesus. The Holy Spirit moved through Paul in miracles and healing as well as the Baptism with the Holy Spirit where people spoke in tongues. Paul wanted them to have all that God had to offer. He must have enjoyed watching the disciples open their hearts to the new expanses of God's plan for them.

Today I am supposed to be praying for a Holy Spirit visitation on "key churches in my region". I have to say that I really don't know who the "key churches" are. Are they the biggest ones? Are they the fastest growing ones? Are they the ones that have the most audacious vision? I am thinking they might be the ones that God knows have the most courage to reach for the wide open spaces of His thoughts and plans. He is looking for those outposts of freedom.

This is one of those times that I am glad I can pray in the Spirit knowing that He knows how I should pray when I don't.

Outposts of Freedom

Does this plastered up rock wall look as unusual to you as it does to me?

This wall was crumbling so the forest rangers came along and plastered around the rock wall to make it more stable. When I saw this in the middle of a national forest, it looked so unnatural. While I know the rangers were trying to make it safe for people to be near, it certainly didn't look like it belonged in the pure, pristine beauty of a forest. This reminds me of something that wants to change but is not allowed to do so and is even plastered up to be less changable. Yes, it's "safer" in this application, but as something that naturally was changing, it is very much a picture of putting a stop to change.

From the prophetic word through Chuck Pierce:

"I am looking for places to establish Outposts of Freedom. I am looking for places that will war for the freedom of the Holy Spirit. This nation has prided itself in political freedom and religious freedom, but it has never experienced the freedom of the Holy Spirit. From these Outposts of Freedom I will begin to speak. I will begin to direct. I will begin to restructure the building plan for the future according to the Holy Spirit. My eyes are running to and fro, looking for places to establish these Outpost of Freedom." July 11th, 2005 - Chuck Pierce

Recently I wrote about the kind of church setting I thought would usher in the future of God's heart. I find myself going back to that writing. The main point I take away from that list by Hans Kung is that honesty really does go a long way. Being willing to admit and work on blind spots is so big for those who want to have community. I want to be invested in a place where the freedom of the Holy Spirit is not looked on as fanaticism. I want to invest my life in a building plan that will restructure when led by the Spirit to do so. The "machinery" of institution must be willing to redo itself if it is to remain fresh and vibrant. If we keep doing the same things, we will keep reaping the same things.

There probably won't be any restructuring of that plastered up rock wall. The wind and weather will not be moving it any time soon. Of course, the gentle breeze of the Holy Spirit wouldn't move that kind of spiritual wall either.

I guess it's how you look at the wall - very sturdy but also very unmovable.

The Making of a Disciple

Jesus said,"Come, be my disciple". Matt 9:9 NLT

"Then Jesus said to the disciples, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow me. If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find true life. And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process? Is anything worth more than your soul?" Matt. 16:24-26 NLT

As I was reading more about Jesus' interaction with his diciples, I was reminded again that being a "disciple" is not just knowing how to live - it's about following Him. That speaks of action.

I recently found a church that clearly spells out discipling.

"Discipleship is nothing more than having a life product, being intentional about imparting that product, and spending enough time doing the right things to impart that product, so that the recipient of that life product will want to impart it as well." Randy Pope

Our life product is "being a mature and equipped follower of Christ for the lost world."

We are intentional about imparting our life product when we make a specific plan to not only reach out to the lost, but to then share with them what we have learned and teach them how to do the same. We spend enough time doing the right things to help someone become a mature and equipped follower of Christ when we meet with them regularly in a discipleship setting."

I am very aware of believers who separate their thinking from understanding - the "knowledge based" understanding"and the experiential based understanding". I have recently read (and I can't find it at the moment) that discipleship really doesn't happen until the person who's been taught begins to make decisions and choices that are thought of as missional. It's about community and relationship again. I realize that just because someone believes in Christ, they might not be equiped to live out their faith. The process of discipleship involves us getting involved, us learning and caring as we are sharping our faith. The process isn't through yet though. There will be several people who can help in the next steps of growth. As the disciplee grows, then it is time to bring on the "hands on" portion of discipling.

Only after the disciple wants to go through the times of learning, can she then realize that to make the power of discipling effective, the one being mentored needs to DO what they see the leader doing. There's a whole lot more that just being educated. Much more than just knowing how things "should" be. It's about living, relationship and community.

God is waiting for us!

Harvest in the Valley of Decision

Harvest season has started in the valley where I live. Fruit is hanging from trees beconing to be picked before it's too late. "Too late" seems to be that moment of time where the fruit gives up it's final hold on the branch of the tree and falls to the ground. At that point, the orchardist usually just leaves it there. It cannot be sold for much of value because it's been bruised or marred in someway as a result of the fall.


Earlier in the season, those same orchardists were out in full force guarding their trees. Factors such as frost, wind or lack of water could have influenced the bearing of fruit. It is a warlike feeling as the caregivers are protecting the future harvest. Sometimes long hours of waiting just to see if one or two degrees of temperature affected a whole year's harvest. The days of watching the fruit mature bring hope as they are more hearty and can bear the challenges of weather.

This week I enjoyed my first taste of this year's peach crop. I was so excited to enjoy the fruit that I didn't bother to check it out to see if it was edible. It looked great! The fragrance of those peaches in the box filled my nostrils. Yum! I selected several from the box, put them in a sack and headed home to enjoy. At home, I washed a peach (getting off all that fuzz) anticipating the amazing taste to come.

What's this? Are those little bugs? Ack! Talk about disappointing! Dumb little bugs are in my beautiful peach! They looked wicked to me! In Joel 3, there is a description of the storage vats overflowing with the wickedness of people. Imagine thinking that you've stored something for the future and it has bugs in it! Bleah!

Immediately after that description of the storage vat problem is a statement that I've heard when people are being challenged to come to the Lord. "Thousands upon thousands are waiting in the valley of decision. It is there that the day of the LORD will soon arrive." (Joel 3:14) I know that the last part of the verse is seldom attached to the first part. I do believe, though, that wherever a believer is present there is the opportunity for "the day of the LORD" to arrive. I know the phrase is also eschatological, but I believe it can be very present minded as well.

I know that there are missed opportunities every day - to share the love of Jesus, to pour myself out for others, to model the heart of God to a lost world. I pray as people watch me closer they will know that sometimes there are those little bugs in me, but the Lord God is able to cleanse them out of me and help me walk in faithfulness and truth.

Relationships and Storytelling

This whole process that Peter says we need to have to be "productive and useful in your knowlege of our Lord Jesus Christ", first starts with a faith that Jesus gives us. It's about getting to know Him better. The outflow of His power happens in that "knowing Jesus better" place. This is about relationship - not mere knowledge.

The empowerment that happens in relationship with Jesus opens our eyes to see his great and precious promises. I cannot stand on the outside of this relationship and try to understand those promises or the power that Jesus wants to pour into me. Later Peter describes that kind of vision as shortsighted.

Out of my relationship with Jesus (which produces faith), there will be levels of growth that will cause me to become productive and useful for Him. Now I really have always wanted to do that. Sometimes, I get ahead of the "relationship with Jesus part" and just jump to trying to become productive and useful for Him. I think my head is right on that desire, but my heart must take the time to know Him relationally more.

Sure I want more faith, a clear moral excellence, self-control, patient endurance, godliness and a true love for everyone! (I want it right now, in fact!) The challenge comes to see if I am willing to enter into that deeper relationship with Jesus whereby He teaches me at each of these points what is His heart and His way.

But how? It seems like those early Christians had Peter to remind them. In verses 12-15, Peter "nags" (almost) about reminding . . . keeping on reminding . . . make these things clear to you . . . and I want you to remember. I wonder if he scratched his beard and looked at them saying, I plan to keep on reminding you ... yes I believe that should keep reminding you . . .so I will work hard to make these things clear . . .I want you to remember them. Then he reminded them that he was an eyewitness to the power of Jesus. His faith didn't need clever stories. He had the real thing - the stories of the power of God. He was strengthened over the years by the demonstration of the power of Jesus Christ in his life. Even the giving of the Scriptures wasn't because someone wanted to have something of theirs read through the generations. The prophets didn't have that kind of heart. They wrote what God poured through them. Peter very clearly wants people to know that God's prophetic voice was at work.

At this point in my life, I am seeing that the older story tellers in my life are either too far away from me, or they aren't alive. I love to listen to the stories of God's mighty moves. I'm sure that people loved to hear those stories from Peter too. (I'm not sure if he'd weave movie clips into his dialogues if he were around today - he might - it could happen!) I am wondering if this is part of the unsettledness I am feeling these days. The stories of God's mighty power are becoming fewer to my ears. Oh, there's lots of things to read, but the thing that is missing is that relationship with the storyteller. I can almost get numb with the "wowzers" stories out there. I am hungry for relationships that are experiencing the move of God today in everyday living.

I am also wondering if it's my turn to be the storyteller. Ack! That feels huge to me. Peter explained that his experience of seeing the power of God caused a greater confidence to trust the Scriptures given by holy men of old. Could it be that there aren't enough storytellers of the power of God, so faith in the Scriptures are waning? The other night as I was thinking about having more input in the lives of younger people, I realized that I wanted to tell them about the power of God. I wanted to pray that the power of God would show up on them. I envisioned laughing together, playing together, praying together and telling stories together.

Peter was diligent to tell the stories. He had stories to tell. He had relationship both with Jesus and with those around him. That seems to be the key to storytelling . . . relationship.

Smoke, Smells and A Sword

Song of Solomon 3 -
6 "Who is this sweeping in from the deserts like a cloud of smoke along the ground? Who is it that smells of myrrh and frankincense and every other spice?
7 Look, it is Solomon's carriage, with sixty of Israel's mightiest men surrounding it. 8 They are all skilled swordsmen and experienced warriors. Each one wears a sword on his thigh, ready to defend the king against an attack during the night."

I can imagine watching this cloud of smoke/dust coming from the desert as someone is standing on the wall watching in the distance. As the carriage got closer, there was a scent that wafted to the watcher to cause them to wonder who was coming. After a bit of time, they seemed to be able to recognize who was coming - the king and his men. Their reputation came with them. They were known.

If I have been rubbed by the desert sand so that I can better reflect the glory of God and I am breaking out of the wilderness, I am wondering about the next part of this growth process. It looks like there is that anointing of the spices (they are used for various things) as well as the warfare ready to defend against attacks.

Those warriors were experienced. I wonder if they ever got tired? There must have been a great allegiance to the King. My guess is that they were well trained and fine tuned to move at a moment's notice with great precision. I think I know what that kind of warrior is supposed to look like. I just have wondered if I could ever do all of that.

I'm going to have to think about that . . .

Wilderness Breaking - Pool Creating

Is 35:6 - "For waters will break forth in the wilderness . . .

Sunday, a friend had prophetic word picture so she shared it with our lead intercessors. It was a picture of a huge dam that was bulging. Many people were going to be affected by the actions of a few people here and now. The picture showed people trying to patch up or strengthen the bulge in the dam so it wouldn't burst. The word was to just let the dam go. Don't try to patch up the dam. Let the water flow. I wonder what is trying to be "patched" up in my life, rather than just letting the water "break forth" through me?

Here's the next part of the prophecy from the 52 Days word: "I see the dusty place that you have been standing in. I will use the sand that has been covering you to exfoliate and remove a layer that’s held you captive. This is an hour to use the captivity structure around you to bring a benefit into your life. From your captivity I will cause you to shine in a new way. I have a people that I’m realigning and I have a people that I’m causing to shine, so do not be discouraged from the sand that’s been swirling around you for it will begin to exfoliate you and produce My glory. Your wilderness is breaking.'


It's interesting because later the scripture says the "scorched land will become a pool". When the dealings of God come, there will be eyes that see, ears that hear, lame who walk and shouts of joy. I can imagine people coming to this pool to drink as they are so thirsty. It's merely a rain water pool in rock. I can imagine groups of people walking by this pool. Some will be very satisfied, but some will be very thirsty. The scripture says that the redeemed will walk on a special highway - the Highway of Holiness. Among the many things that will be given because of the satisfaction found there, the "everylasting joy" strikes me as one of the most awesome. That's a lot of joy!

Ps 84 talks about people being blessed after entering in to the Highway to Holiness. Even passing through at our measure of faith, I will still go through trials. Those valleys build deep stuff in us. I was encouraged when I saw that this water had some pennies in it. Those pennies are held captive by the pool, but they are faithfully just shining when they are in the pool. The "captive" pennies will continue to "reflect" until the pool is completed. One day the pool will evaporate though. I think the "reflecting practice" (as in reflecting the glory of God) will still be something the penny will know how to do!

I think the dam is about to break. I think the pool will quickly be shaped and I am sure that my "penny" will be reflecting the glory of the Father. Come and break away my wilderness, Father!

Abiding Connectedness

John 15:14 - "Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me."

God seems to be shouting at me through this verse. I want so much to serve Him and that serving to produce fruit. Again, as I read the passage, I see that "abiding" is really the action needed. I know that if I am not connected to Him I forfeit the chance to bear true fruit. The doing good stuff just isn't where that is important. I do believe that we DO good works, yes, but they are not connected with God's acceptance of me. Abiding is staying connected.

If I want the power that comes from God to do His works I have got to be connected - abiding!

Baptism of Fire

Psalm 81:10 - "I, the LORD, am your God, Who brought you up from the land of Egypt; Open your mouth wide and I will fill it."

Matthew 3:11b - "He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire."

These two verses stuck out to me. God was trying to show the people a way out. He'd already demonstrated His heart to do that in the Exodus. Jehovah the Elohim was declaring that to the people.

In the second passage, John the Baptist was declaring that Jesus was coming to do more than water baptism. He was going to baptize them in the Holy Spirit with fire. When I was preparing for Pentecost Sunday this year, I read about a Pentecost service that happened in 2004.

Here is a quote that Steve Taylor mentions in this article when he asks "What is pentecost?"

It is the challenge to move from spectacular, special, one-off, stars, to the mirrorball of God, rotating, light falling on everyone, young and old, men and woman.

When God says "I, the Lord, am your God", He was saying "I, Jehovah, am your Elohim". Not only is He all that I need for life (Jehovah), He is MY Elohim (the god of all Gods)! If He speaks to open my mouth that He might fill it, it just seems like to start getting the mouth open!

What is a baptism of fire? Fire is hot. It purifies. It kills harmful things. It warms. It is mesmirizing. It burns within. It cannot be quenched. It must have it's out working in a person's life or they feel like they are going crazy. It is passionate. It stirs vision and mission. The normal things have no meaning now. They are mere forms of what the baptism of fire has blazed into the innermost part the soul. Mind, will and emotions are heightened to press on into even the most challenging places because of the unquenchable desire to share Jesus and His story.

While I'm not sure I am on fire like the rock in the picture, there is something happening in me that tells me I am not the same as I have been. Something is going on. My heart has become about working mature believers into ministry places and giving them a taste of success rather than me just DO it - for the sake of doing it.

I look forward to the blowing of the Holy Spirit on me. Blow the dead, dry, legalistic structures off me. Boy . . . sometimes I can't believe how stuck I am it it. Imagine that mirrorball of God continually turning and throwing off the reflection of His glory onto (and through) men and women. No one is pushing or shoving or manipulating to "catch" the reflection of His glory. It's hitting everyone - as in all flesh. That includes me!

Fresh Work for New Life Patterns

"Holy Spirit is bringing a new release, a fresh anointing, a fresh outpouring. The windows of heaven are pouring out a fresh flow of the River of Life. Holy Spirit’s wind is blowing away the old, the dead, the dry legalistic structures. I am longing to do a new work in you. There is more for you to receive, so drink in and let Me begin a fresh work in you from this fresh flow of the Spirit. Let freedom reign. Open your mouth and allow Holy Spirit to fill you with His baptizing work." (prayer guide and scripture here)


From Acts 1-2

I know that I am feeling some form of grief. I've been told that I have been going through several of the stages of grief for at least a year now. Frozen feelings, emotional release, loneliness, physical sysmptons and guilt have plagued me. I've moved into a bit of a panic in my situation not really knowing what was next. Hostility seems to well up in me. It's a feeling that I've given my life and still, not a whole lot to show for it.

Then I realize that what I am feeling may or may not be all that true. I find that I have prayed more this past year than I can remember in years past. I know that there are intercessors praying for me - prophecying over me. It feels like the Lord IS intervening. I am just not sure how. I think something is coming to the surface in direction and mission. It seems like a God thing. I do tremble sometimes (in fear and awe) at the thoughts that I believe God is putting in me. They are not particularly new, but they do seem life transforming to me.

Our intercessors have been praying for rain for the last year or so. This year has had the greatest rainfall in years in our state. I know that is a picture of the rain of God desiring to pour on me (and us).

On the stages of grief there is a point called "selective memory". I'm not sure if that a good thing or not, but I don't think I'm there yet. At the moment much of what I think about from past years is pouring into my head and causing me to wonder.

The next step after that is about struggling for new life patterns. THAT is where I feel like I am. I don't know if I'm skipping something or not in the stages of grief, but I do know that I see possibilities for new life patterns. The challenge for me is how to start. When someone dies, there just seems to be a cleaner break to start the new life pattern. When you try to pattern new wine in old wineskin systems, it just feels hard.

But, how do you ever get to grow? Do you change the wineskin everytime there is growth in your life? My experience tells me that that is just running for greener pastures. How do you allow for growth in people and let them live in those new life patterns? Do you let people know that "TODAY is my new life pattern change day"? Sounds funny . .but how is that done?

52 Days of Rebuilding, Receiving and Unlocking

Today I was sent an email that caught my attention. I receive many emails from various groups, but I chose to open this one particularly.

I'm going to take the 52 day challenge of praying, Bible reading and blogging. It seemed right as I was reading, so I have a sense of anticipation of these days as I commit myself to doing this.

You're welcome to join me or just comment on what I say. We can disagree and/or dialogue. I guess we can agree and/or dialogue too, for that matter!

Below is the prophetic introduction for the 52 day assignment.

"We are pressing into the time to gain victory completely in our thought processes. Allow the Lord to draw out old desires. He will remove some and activate others. Your thought life can be revolutionized during this time. Even though this may be a hard couple of months of war, these are your breakthrough times. Stick close to the Lord and develop a prayer shield around you. Stay in the Word, pray in the Spirit and let your discernment increase. The Lord will uncover some key issues related to the blood of Jesus, the glory, and physical healing. If you will celebrate at this time, you will break through the “blood barrier” (yadah note: I am not all that sure what this means.) of old thought-processes. This will produce a victory mentality for the rest of the year. Death strategies and assignments will break. You can have victory and see healing of the mind. No longer do you have to be hung between two opinions. Break doublemindedness."

Come Holy Spirit and be my Teacher . . .

Faith for a Paradigm Shift

In all my years of ministry, I have created and envisioned and led in creative places that "no one would go". I usually had a foundational faith platform from which I lept into those unknowns. Something happens though, when you find that your faith platform needs an overhaul. It's not as though I suddenly find God in a different way. How I think He wants to work in our world is not as clean and easy as I have always declared. Well, easy might not be the exact term . .but . .neat and tidy . .the proverbial . .'if you do . . . then God will".

I recently read a transcript of an interview with Rick Warren. Whatever your thinking is about him, he is clear on what paradigms he will change . .and which ones he will not. He says he didn't change his lifestyle or his passionate desire to lead people to Christ. It's always been about people. He did say that he'd change according to the culture or at least meet people where they are and give them Jesus.

Now . .the idea of being willing to do those kinds of paradigm shifts is what intrigues me. Christians are told that they are to be in the world but not "of" it. My training really leaned on the "not of it" part. I think I am seeing the "in the world" part a little more clearly these days. I think the whole idea of "in the world" needs more intentionality in a believer's life. Now, it could be that I have been in this mode more that others. I just don't know. The thought of actually planning my life, setting my goals, even moving to a predetermined neighborhood for the purpose of impacting those around me has really only just dawned on me lately.

For example, I really wanted my church to hire me to do some things that they really have not been doing. There's just not enough manpower, or even planning to consider what I was thinking about. Finances are always the problem. (After seeing this go on for years, I wonder if we should just chuck our whole system and try again, you know?) A couple of years ago, I was struck with the idea of putting myself in a place to touch people. I can do that every time I work at my job. I am a cashier. I've never done that before this, but I "sold" the idea on the store manager and was hired. Now, every day I work, there are people I touch. Sometimes it's my coworkers. Sometimes it's our customers. I feel like I have worthwhile intentional ministry to people. I am in such a much better place to fulfill the mission of my life - to reconcile the world to Christ.

Here's my challenge . . . I don't know very many people who live like that. I would love to have people to talk and pray with daily about this. My friends who live like this are not my "in person" friends. They are mostly on the internet. We gather to talk about our day and see what God is up to in different situations. It's like a grand gathering. Blogs give that opportunity too within the time space that it takes to read them. I wonder if there are "in person" people who'd do the paradigm shift and be both? (blog and be "in person" too!)

This is getting too long . . . more another time.