Saturday, April 19, 2014

The Shepherd's Absence

Have you ever felt like God just wasn't there? He hadn't shown up (like I thought He should have) for awhile. Your prayers hit a ceiling and bounced mockingly back at you. Two camps of people around you were reminding you either 1) God isn't really there after all OR 2) you just don't have enough faith to believe that He's still there. Sometimes, those two ideas leave a person without much hope.

Between the horror of the Cross and the celebration of the Resurrection, there was a waiting time - an absence of sorts. I've often wondered what Jerusalem was like the day after the tumult of Jesus' crucifixion. While crucifixions happened fairly regularly at that time, Jesus' crucifixion drew a crowd and some extras like darkness and a huge tear in the veil of the Temple (not to mention the sighting of resurrected bodies of godly people walking around)! (See Matthew 27:50-52.) I wonder what the religious leaders thought as they stood inspecting the floor to ceiling rip in the veil of the Temple?

In the Jewish holy book, the Torah, there was a detailed description of everything in the meeting place between God and the Jewish priests. (It's a fascinating study!) The veil symbolized a separation from the common man and God. Only the High Priest could go past that veil to the part in the Temple called the Holy of Holies. The Priest would offer a sacrifice once a year for the people. The veil was a tapestry of skins, cloth and metal (gold) woven together and was the only way to get in to the Holy of Holies to experience God. Suddenly, it was left gaping open. The secret things inside the inner chamber were able to be seen! I'm guessing the religious leaders didn't say anything, because this news would surely change their status as well as their power structure. To become obsolete is not a welcomed experience!

Matthew did note the ladies who followed Jesus had purchased burial spices just before the Sabbath (Shabat) was about to begin. They followed the rules, but their hearts must have been heavy. At the very least, they had had a good time with Jesus; they owed Him a proper burial.

Have you ever noticed how unsettling an absence can be? You can miss someone who you see regularly every day. A coworker doesn't show up and you haven't heard where they are. Your parents don't make that weekly call to see how you're doing. The insecurity and irritation of change contribute to why people respond the way they do. Many of Jesus' followers were scattered and hiding out on this day before the Resurrection. Government people were trying to keep the tenseness of the previous day to a minimum even to the point of sending extra soldiers to seal and guard the cave where Jesus' body was placed. The religious leaders had to find an explanation for the veil disaster. The common onlookers of yesterday's events might be having discussions among themselves over their regular celebratory Sabbath meals.

The followers of Jesus had the best vantage but they didn't understand what Jesus was saying in His last days with them. We can look back and wonder what a bunch of nitwits they were to not realize He had already explained what would happen. He wasn't around to field questions. He was absent. A wise mentor once told me to never doubt in the dark what I knew in the light. This was a dark time for many different groups of people. They all had to wait . . .

When people around you are sure they have the answers but you are yet unsure, what do you do? What is your capacity to wait when the answer is not revealed?

Father, while I know the whole story from this side of the Cross, I still have empathy for the followers of Jesus. It's so easy to shout answers. It's not so easy to wait when You seem absent. In my heart, I know You are always with me. In my experience, I have worried that You've forgotten me. The more life I live, the less hard I am on real people living real lives. I think You realized that from living the daily grind with Your followers. I want to be such an independent strong lamb. I think I do so well on my own; I am just a silly sheep. I need You, my Shepherd. Remind me that because I don't see clearly, does not mean You are not there.

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